Thursday 2 November 2017

100 word challenge week #8

Once a upon a time I was in a spooky lightless cave in the cold winter night. Then I saw a flame of light surrounding me. My vision went weird, after the shocking event I was so interested I was swimming through ideas about what could of happened. I felt frightened and so insecure around the permitter. I had just remembered that I had celebrated christmas the day before and the same thing happened. When my eyesight went back I was out of the weird cave but all could see was a mysterious forest with white clean snow. I thought about getting my eyes checked tomorrow, the next day my doctor checked my eyes. Then my mom told me that I should minimize playing tech.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Bigdream6,
    This is a much more positive, enjoyable piece of writing. Well done. The prompt words are well spread out in your writing. You have used some descriptive vocabulary e.g. 'insecure' and 'mysterious'. I'm a little confused by some things in your story. I wonder what eyes 'going weird' means. I don't think 'permitter' is a word. Why didn't the doctor recommend that you 'minimize playing tech'? Congratulations on completing the 100 Word Challenge Week #8.
    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Van

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