Thursday 26 October 2017
100 word challenge week #7
Hi my name is Mark I live in a small green house in Quebec city in Canada. I love my parents but there mostly at work earning money and not having fun with me. When there home they always get mad and frustrated about every bad thing I do at school. One day later I was jamming to music in my room, then suddenly I heard a unnecessary sound coming from outside. It was people complaining about the music. After all that annoying sounds my mom came and yelled to stop listening to music and getting in trouble or else....As the door slammed,I knew i should start to behave. I was sent to boarding school, but i came back as a disciplined child.
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Hello Bigdream6,
ReplyDeleteThe tone of your writing is unpleasant e.g. you complain about your parents, write of the neighbours complaining, and write about your mother 'yelling' at you. I understand this is just a story, but it is not enjoyable to read. Remember to always capitalize the word 'I'.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Van